Long live noodle straps and tight jeans!

Ok, What's with the all the recent interest in what Indian women wear? Suddenly, everyone in India seems to have a say in what a 'decent' woman should wear. And they seem to be enforcing their views with despicable acts of violence.

First, there was the incident at a Mangalore pub where members of Ram Sena, a Hindu right-wing organization, assaulted women for dressing inappropriately. Then we heard about threats issued to women wearing noodle straps and tight jeans. And just today, I read about a man in Haryana who beat up his wife in public,undeterred by police, simply because she wore jeans to the market.

Reports of these incidents always seem to be accompanied by dozens of reader comments, several of them from men, also giving their two cents worth about what a woman should wear - Comments like 'good women should not wear jeans' and classics like 'Any girl who wears jeans is not decent because her mind is always on how to get the boys to look at her'! Sigh!

Its all pretty disturbing, but what struck me most about all this is how so many people seem to think that they get to decide what a woman wears. Shouldn't that be the woman's decision??? As a strong believer in a woman's right to choice, it always tics me off when people sit around and debate about what a woman should and shouldn't do, when really it isn't their call at all. Like whether women should work or stay at home, whether women should have abortions, at what age a girl should be 'married off'- women have always had men wanting to make their decisions for them. And now they want to decide whether she wears tight or loose pants! Come on! At least let that be her choice- not something dictated by a bunch of testosterone-crazed, saffron wearing MEN!

But, if this argument doesn't cut it and people still want to make rules about what is 'culturally permissible' to wear, well, then I have a few suggestions... for the sake of preserving our precious Indian culture, of course.

Rule No 1. Men with waists greater than 40 inches in width will not be permitted into water parks if wearing any of the following:
i. Tiny biker shorts
ii. Nothing but a towel
iii. And God forbid... speedos.

Rule No 2. Men with a excessive amounts of chest and/or back hair must refrain from ever taking their shirts off in public.

Rule No 3. (and this for our beloved South Indian makkal) Lungis are prohibited, at all times- No exceptions!

Experiments with butternut squash

Butternut squash- I've been fascinated with this vegetable for a while now, ever since I had a taste of it at an office potluck. I'm not sure if it's the rich orange color, its odd bell shape, or its starchy and satisfying taste that appeals to me- but, this week, when I saw it at the grocery store, I just had to pick one up.


Back at home, after lots of research and much deliberation over what to make with the squash, I decided to go with a classic southern dish: butternut squash casserole. This creamy casserole is standard fare at Thanksgiving dinners...and its slightly sweet, slightly savory taste has captivated me for some time.

So here it is, with pictures and all- Behold the first ever recipe this blog has seen.

What you'll need:

1 butternut squash
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup sugar
2 eggs
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons maple syrup and/or 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Pinch of salt

For topping

1/2 cup cereal of any kind
1 tablespoon butter (melted)
1 tablespoon brown sugar

Step 1: Cut the butternut squash into halves and remove seeds and pulp. Cook till tender. Most recipes suggest leaving the squash in a covered pot of boiling water to get it tender. But this can take around 15 minutes. A quicker alternate is to pop the squash in the microwave for about 4-6 minutes till it became soft.


Step 2: Peel the skin off and mash in a bowl. Add to this the rest of the ingredients and mix.


Step 3: To add some crunch, make a topping with whatever cereal you have at hand. Mix the cereal with melted butter and brown sugar (if you have a sweet tooth like me and also for that nice caramelization).

Step 4:Pour squash mixture into buttered casserole and bake at 350° for about 15 minutes. Then, pull the casserole out, sprinkle the cereal topping over it and let bake for an additional 5-10 minutes. If you are paranoid like me, check it once in a while by poking with a knife- If it sticks to the knife, it is not done.

Well, that's it.. After about an hour of messing around in the kitchen, I was left with this really gorgeous looking squash casserole- crispy on the top & creamyilious below. Hope you guys give it a try too!

Memories

Do you remember when we moved to Chester, Virginia 11 years ago? We were 'fresh off the boat' as they say and completely lost. But it turned out ok... We adapted, made friends and had a good time. I don't know about you, but those four years in Chester definitely feature among my best childhood memories. So, when I got a chance to go back to Chester, back to that little neighborhood we lived in, I grabbed at it.

I walked around the place for about half an hour, taking pictures and narrating stories to my friends. As I walked around the big backyards, I remembered the many hours we spent there, playing those intense games of kickball with all the other kids - how you were usually the smallest one there, but how I always picked you first to be in my team. The hillocks seemed smaller and less steep than they used to then, and I remembered how we took turns sitting in a laundry basket and sliding down the icy slopes(till it occurred to us to actually buy a sled). I remembered the lopsided snowman that we spent all afternoon making and the rest of the day admiring. At the playground, I remembered how I broke my nose on the merry go round and how we ran back to the house, with blood dripping from my nose and you crying and screaming 'Dhivya is gonna die'. It makes me laugh now, but at that time, you were SO NOT helping! As I walked around the neighborhood, I remembered waiting for the school bus on our very first day at an American school- you, a five year old not knowing a word of English and me, the protective older one constantly wanting to make sure you were okay. I also remembered walking through the same neighborhood on halloween nights and how I always convinced you to wear a costume that you didn't like or felt uncomfortable in. I walked up to the house we lived in, took a picture standing in front of it and remembered the days we spent there: how we used to assemble in front of the Tv on those summer afternoons with our pads and pencils for a drawing lesson from Mark Kistler, how we used to decorate our room and how I used to always trick you into putting up my art in a prominent place and your 'childish' art hidden behind the closet doors. Those were the days!

It was strange that a trip back to Chester made me so nostalgic,It was strange that it made me so emotional. Above all, It was strange that walking around Chester where I spent 4 important years of my life, each and every one of my memories seemed be revolve around you!

Miss you, my lil Chesta Sista! Happy Birthday, way in advance :)



Then

Now

To be or not to be...safe?

To be or not to be...safe?
That is the question.
The answer lies
Here

I am legend

I am legend, an adaptation of a 1954 science fiction novel, is one helluva movie. It is based in New york city in the year 2012. A genetically altered virus called 'KV' has spread across the globe, annihilating most of the world population and reducing the rest to cannibalistic zombies. Virologist and US soldier Robert Neville(Will Smith) believes himself to be the only survivor. He lives at the site where the infection hit and fights to discover a cure.

We watch Neville go through his daily routine, with only his dog and mannequins for company... and our hearts go out to him. Will Smith proves himself yet again with an extremely endearing performance. He is the only human actor on screen for the majority of the movie. Despite this isolation and lack of costars, Smith's screen presence is enough to hold the audiences' interest. In fact ,the introduction of two fellow survivors in the form of a Brazilian woman and a little boy actually dampens the intensity of the movie. Smith fares better when he is on his own.

Though the movie has all the makings of a typical horror flick- marauding zombies, rabid dogs, guns and explosions, it goes much beyond that because it is TRULY scary. A mutated virus causing a deadly epidemic, billions of people killed, quarantines and evacuations- such a situation is scary because it could actually happen. In the age of SARS and bird flu, this seems eerily real. Above all, the notion of being all alone, of being the last man on earth, is terribly frightening.

The movie's dramatic end evokes mixed feelings. But the ending can be overlooked because the movie delivers what it promises- 1 and a half hours during which the we become one with Neville- feeling his loneliness, his angst when darkness begins to fall, his frustration when his experiments fail and his sorrow when he loses his family. With all its larger than life sets, neat special effects and hair-raising scenes, it is the human touch of 'I am legend' that makes an impression in the end.

Call that fun?

It was one of those hot Chennai afternoons. Half the day was over and not even a single Professor had stepped into our class. But, after hours of playing UNO and sharing gossip, I realized that I was officially bored. I needed to get out of that classroom. So, I decided to go get a drink of water and like any proper Tamil girl, I summoned my two girl buddies to accompany me to the water fountain. God knows what dangers lurked on the way to the water fountain so it was only rational to take the pals along.

Thats when a couple of guys in our class suggested it. I didn't want to at first but they made it sound so wonderful and fun. They suggested that we sneak out of college and go for a movie. I don't think I even asked for the name of the movie- I don't think I cared. After having been stuck in college for so long, even sneaking out to see T.R Rajendran gyrate on screen would have been welcome. So I began the difficult process of trying to recruit other girls for the movie- because as mentioned with the water fountain incident, we girls always moved in flocks. I wasn't too successful because I managed to get just one other girl to agree to the plan- so the four of us, two girls and two guys started for the movie.

'Naanga naalu paer- engalaku bayamae kidayaadhu' - That would have been the caption if Gautham Menon had seen us walking out of college that afternoon. We prepared stories to tell the watchman in case he asked why we were leaving in the middle of the day. Having never bunked college before and having heard stories of unsuccessful bunkers and bunkees doing hard time at the Principal's office, I WAS scared, though I tried hard not to show it. But, luckily, the watchman was missing at the gate and we happily ran out to freedom and the freeway. We then traveled by van, bus and foot and reached the theatre one and a half hours later, drenched in sweat and slightly drooping due to the weight of our backpacks.

We decided to watch 'LOTR- Return of the king' but found that we had just 50 rupees among the four of us. So, we decided to buy the 10 rupee tickets- you know those first row wooden planks pretending to be chairs. There was a different line for the 10 rupee tickets and a completely different entrance- and both were dirty, grimy and tiny. I walked in trying not to touch anything and thinking how my mom would have never approved. Once we got in, the guys had yet another brilliant idea- they suggested that we go and occupy some of the 60 rupee seats in the back, the empty ones. We agreed. So there we were watching the movie in the comfort of those 60 rupee cushioned seats when suddenly, we saw a large man with a cane running towards us. He took one look at our seats and our guilty faces and chased us out of the seats with several thrashes of his cane- I think it might have made contact with the two poor guys! We ran down the aisle and crawled into our first row seats, pretending that it was perfectly natural to run like spooked cattle in the theatre. The rest of the movie, I watched with my bum glued to that rock hard seat, craning my neck up at the most awkward angle and surrounded by wonderful smells of sweat and cigarettes.

After the movie, we parted ways - Our necks were permanently stuck at an upward angle, our egos were bruised, we were still seeing spots after having seen Aragorn up so close, and we all reeked.... but I thought that had been the best college day yet....and for some reason, that movie and that movie experience ranks among the best for me. I walked to the bus stop to wait for the bus home and smiled to myself, thinking of how such a lousy way to spend 50 bucks could still be so much fun ... when I suddenly realized that I was all alone, without a single gal pal... all by myself at the crowded bus stop. Oh the horror!! The horror!!

Note: This story goes to show what a boring goodie goodie two shoes I was in college but don't worry, I improved tons after this incident. Also for those who don't understand Tamil, bear with me- next one will be all English.

American gangster- yet another gangster movie?

I saw a new movie yesterday- American gangster starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe.

The movie depicts the crime scene in Harlem, New York during the late 1960s- when American gangsters slowly began to replace the classic Italian mafias. The movie follows the life of one such heroin kingpin, Frank Lucas (played by Denzel Washington). In the midst of Prohibition and heavy drug abuse in the US, Lucas goes to southeast Asia to buy pure heroin directly from the growers and finds an ingenious way to transport it back to New York. Because of his unique means of supply and transport, he is able to sell the drug in a very pure form for a much cheaper price than the competitors. He calls it 'Blue magic' and it becomes the rage among all the junkies in the city. Lucas quickly becomes a wealthy and powerful drug lord in Harlem.

Russell Crowe plays an honest detective battling against the corrupt New York police department to identify the gang behind 'Blue magic'. He forms a team of small-time but honest detectives and they cleverly investigate the Harlem drug scene.

The story might seem like the usual cop vs. criminal story, but the screenplay is very powerful. It brings out how one man, an African American man slowly takes over the New York drug scene using his clever capitalist ways, leaving the Italian mafia and the police department stunned. The movie succeeds in depicting the gritty underbelly of both the city's crime scene and the police department. Most of the movie is shot in tones of browns and yellows, giving it a musty, raw and almost dirty feel- leaving the viewer with a real sense of what it was like in Harlem at that time.

Having said all that, I also have to confess that the movie did put two of my friends to sleep. If I managed to stay awake, it was partly due to my self control but mostly due to the lack of decent heating in that god forsaken theater. Can't sleep when you are constantly cold! The movie, in an attempt to realistically depict the life of an American gangster, stretches longer than required. Out of the 2 and a half hours, the first half is slow moving; some scenes are unnecessary and almost hinder the storyline. The second half though is gripping and makes up for the first half.

When voting for which movie to watch, I voted against American Gangster- it was my two friends, yes the ones who fell asleep, who picked the movie. I entered the theater thinking... 'Oh gosh, here goes another violent and bloody gang movie where everybody dies in the end.' It was a gang movie and yes, there was some blood and gore, but ironically behind the premise of all that violence, there was a very positive message. A gangster who rises to power in a world where no other man of his kind had ever gained such power; A police officer who solves the case despite all the other corrupt fellow officers standing in his way... If that doesn't say 'you can do whatever you set your mind to' I don't know what does!

My shiny red moment

There are times when life imitates the movies... when one of those cheesy cinematic moments that make you go 'awwwwwww' actually happens to you! Usually those feel-good movie moments make me think 'Please, does that ever happen to normal people?' But when it does happen, I think it's the Universe's way of conking me on the head and reminding me to quit being so god-damn negative.

Well, I got one such conk recently. I arrived in Omaha, Nebraska two days ago to visit my dad. It was a typically cold Omaha evening and so I was ready to run inside the house the moment my dad parked the car. But, instead of taking me inside, my dad took me to a nearby parking spot and handed me a set of keys. And there in the parking spot sat... a shiny red Honda Civic! MY shiny red Honda Civic -my very first car! It was beautiful and I, well lets just say I had to stop myself from hissing 'My Precioussssss'! You should have seen my face at that moment- I had a smile wide enough to make any Colgate representative proud. My hands were jittery- though that could have been because of the cold. I found a large orange ribbon tied around the car and I cut it open, feeling like a total celebrity. The inside of the car was decorated with several bows (again shiny red) and I found attached to the steering wheel a card. It read

'Congratulations on all that you've achieved. We are so proud of you' and it was signed by my mom, dad and sis.

It gave me goosebumps to read the card. By now, the smile was a little less prominent on my face- I turned away from my dad just in case a few tears suddenly appeared as they so often do with me, revealing the total softie that I am. Now, for those who are wondering 'why the heck are they congratulating her now?', I suppose some background information would help. The congratulations were for me having completed my Masters and having found a job.

Though my dad had told me that he was looking for a car for me, it was just an awesome feeling to be told by my family that they were proud of me...and in this way. After 2 years of living by myself and struggling with the pressures of a masters degree, I felt aptly rewarded.

This incident reminded me of that full house episode where DJ gets a red car with bow and all for her 16th birthday...and of course the studio audience cheers and claps, oohs and aaahs, all in chorus. Well, I imagine that if there had been a studio audience present that cold evening when I got my car, they would've definitely let out at least a tiny 'awwww' for me...and my shiny red moment! :)

Tagged by Anu!

I've been tagged for the first time and I'm actually quite excited about it. Does that make me a big dork, if being tagged on Blogger is the highlight of my day? Anyways, here goes:

"The Challenge: Make a list of five strengths that you possess as a writer/artist. It’s not really bragging, it’s an honest assessment (forced upon you by this darn meme). Please resist the urge to enumerate your weaknesses, or even mention them in contrast to each strong point you list. Tag four other writers or artists whom you’d like to see share their strengths.”

This is a tough one for me because I'm not the world's most positive person, not even close actually. So, talking strengths is not my thing. Also, the question kinda makes me feel like I'm sitting for a job interview- almost want to open up my file and start brandishing my certificates! I bet you didn't know I was 'student of the month' in 6th grade! Anyways, despite all my apprehensions, I gave this tag some thought and here's what I came up with:

1. Honesty and simplicity: Honesty is a quality that's very important to me. So, I try to keep my stories honest. I like writing that is simple and true. No pretensions, no flowery language, no fancy words! Its another issue that all the GRE vocabulary that I crammed into my head never made it past my short term memory- so I cant use fancy words even if I wanted to. Oops, did I 'enumerate my weekness'? Did I break the rules? Told you that I didn't have a single positive bone in my body!

2. Appreciation for humor: I really appreciate writing that's humorous, especially if its subtle, sarcastic and witty. Though this may not count as a strength in my writing, I think this appreciation helps improve my writing. I think writing humorously without overkill is extremely difficult and so the few who are able to write like this, just know 'I bow to thee!'

3. Endings : I like stories with powerful endings- I'm a big fan of O'henry because all his short stories have powerful and unpredictable endings. So, I attempt to write stories with endings that either surprise or neatly connect all the pieces of the story together.

4. I try: I think the fact that I try to write is a strength in itself. I've always loved to write. When I was little, I used to watch my grandpa sit in his chair and write every night. Maybe I bothered him too much and he just wanted to give me something to do, but one day, he gave me a notebook of my own. I used to sit beside him every night and write little stories in that notebook. Despite the fact that they all started with 'Once upon a time' and ended with 'happily ever after', I was so proud of these stories. Every poor visitor to our house was forced at gunpoint to read them! During middle and high school, I went around telling anyone who cared to listen that I wanted to become a journalist. I became a writer for the school newspaper, attended journalism seminars and even wrote for the city newspaper. But nothing much happened of that dream as I followed the 'path most taken' toward conformity and Computer science. After that, I never really wrote much until I started blogging. So, the fact that I started blogging and have been trying to write again is by far the strength I'm most happy about.

There... thats a challenge successfully completed. Yeah, I know I was supposed to list 5 strengths, but I can't put up with any more positive-ness and really, how long can a person talk about herself?!

I would like to tag:
G - He's exploring his passion for photography in the midst of a busy schedule and I would love to hear about 5 strengths he possesses as a photographer!
Mansi - She's one of those funny and witty writers I love.
my sis, Sowmya - She's an awesome writer but refuses to start a blog. Maybe this will help start her off.

Trick or treat

I landed in the US on the 30th of October, 1993, a day before Halloween. I was 10 years old and I believe I spent my first day in the US with a dopey grin permanently plastered on my face. Everything was so different and to a kid from a middle class Tamil family, everything appeared so wonderful. The wooden floors that creaked slightly when I walked, the big beds and the fluffy comforters, the thin sheet of snow on the road- all of it amazed me. As if all this wasn't enough, I was told of another glorious event that was to happen the very next day- Halloween! When visiting some friends of my dad's, their two daughters took me to their room and talked in what seemed like a foreign language. They spoke of wonderful things- of costumes and candy, of beautiful princesses and ugly witches. Though I couldn't understand everything they said, I knew that Halloween would be a wonderful holiday and I was thrilled when they invited me to celebrate it with them. Halloween night came by and the two girls' carefully dressed me as a cat. They each put on their costumes and transformed into a fairy tale princess and a native American girl. They then handed me a basket and took me outside. I watched as they knocked on each door and yelled 'trick or treat'. I also noticed that when they yelled this phrase, the house owners responded by dropping generous amounts of candy into their baskets. So, I followed suit and we walked from house to house doing the same. I returned home with a basket overflowing with candy, some of which I shared with my poor sister. Having been left at home with a severe case of jet lag, she listened as I described Halloween and all its glory. I felt like the entire night had been magical and I thanked profoundly, the genius who had come up with such an incredible holiday.

Every year after that first Halloween, my sister and I waited eagerly for October 31st to come by. We planned our costumes weeks before, we bought and decorated baskets to carry candy in and got a group of friends together to go 'trick of treating'. We spent the night before Halloween unable to sleep because of what we aptly named the 'I-can't-waits'. We used this time to come up with clever strategies of how to visit the generous households more than once without being found out. No matter how cold or dark, we never failed to go trick or treating. After all the rounds, we came back home and spent hours going through the night's collection. I believe both of us learned much about the age-old barter system because of these nights. We spent many hours making offers and trading candy. My sister, being a fan of sour candy always took my sour gum balls and sweet tarts in exchange for coconut and nut filled chocolates. Though I never told her, I always had a sneaking suspicion that I was getting the better end of the deal. I enjoyed the candy for days afterwards, careful to save the best ones for last and making sure not to finish my stock before my sister finished hers.

This continued till I turned the ripe old age of 14- I had officially become too old to go trick or treating. But I refused to let my age come in the way of my fun, so I still put on some gruesome makeup, stuck my vampire teeth in, spread some fake blood around my mouth and walked out the door confidently. I didn't care if I was too old- I was going to rebel. Everything went fine till I knocked on one of my neighbor's doors. A lady walked out, took a look at me and asked casually ' Hey, aren't you too old to be trick or treating?' That was all that I needed- the floodgates opened and I ran home crying. With all my makeup smeared, my teeth hanging out and fake blood all over my face, I gave my mom 'a real Halloween fright' when I walked in the house. That was the last time I ever went trick or treating.

The way I see it, that day marked the end of an era. Yes, I still celebrate Halloween- even for this one, I went to a haunted house and paid good money to get scared out of my wits and to scream my guts out... but its not the same! I hear kids in the US say all the time that they want to be 'grown up' and that they want to be treated like adults. I don't understand why. If you ask me, I would give anything just to be that little kid in the cat costume, running around from house to house, yelling happily- 'trick or treatttttttttttt'!

ATTACK!

She couldn't sit straight. Her legs refused to cooperate with her. They were doing their own version of the jive under the table. 'Damn it, Why did I have to wear a skirt today?', she thought.

It didn't feel like the middle of December anymore. She started to feel hot and soon felt like ripping off the sweater she was wearing. Her hands became clammy and droplets of sweat started making their way down her forehead.

Her mouth went dry, her lips felt like they were stuck with super glue. Her heart began to pound... it started slowly at first, but soon she could feel the palpitations occurring more rapidly. She became concerned- she wondered if she should cry out for help.

She started feeling short of breath. Though she tried to breath through her mouth, she couldn't. It almost seemed like she had forgotten how to breath. She felt faint and every breath became more difficult to take. She was sure she was going to fall off her chair any moment. She only hoped that her fall would be dignified. What if her skirt flew up in the air when she fell! The mere thought was mortifying. She felt her eyes glazing over, her vision blurring when...

Suddenly, a thundering roar interrupted her thoughts. She thought it must be a storm outside. But when she looked around, she realized that it was a a big round of applause! She could hear her name being called and looked up to find her professor calling her and announcing to the audience'And now, we have my graduate student who'll be defending her thesis today. She'll be presenting the work she has done for the last two years.' She took a deep breath and walked up on stage. 'Lets do this!, she told herself. 'Its gotta be better than fainting and having my skirt fly up in the air!'.

SISTERLY ACT

Kalpana and Sangeetha were sisters,just a year apart. Both were tall, had powerful brown eyes and long black hair that curled up into little ringlets at the ends. They were beautiful girls and were mama's pride and joy since the day they were born.

But the two sisters never got along. They fought constantly. When they were little, they fought over toys. When they became a little older, boys replaced toys. They constantly competed with each other. In school, both girls competed to get the better marks; they competed to get more prizes than the other in all the cultural shows. The girls competed for their teachers' praise and for their mother's attention. They were ruthless to each other; friends who knew them wondered how sisters could treat each other this way.

For instance, for Kalpana's sixteenth birthday, she was throwing a huge 'sweet sixteen' bash at home. She had planned for it for months and was very excited about it. But Sangeetha wasn't- she despised the fact that her sister would be the center of attention at the party instead of her. So, the night before, when Kalpana was sleeping, Sangeetha crept into her room with a pair of scissors and got to work. It was a good thing Kalpana was a sound sleeper. The next morning, the entire house was woken up by a piercing scream from Kalpana's room. When her mom ran into the room, she saw Kalpana sobbing on the floor, with hair all around her. Her crowning glory was gone; her beautiful long hair mangled. Instead, she was left with frayed locks of hair, some that reached down to her shoulder, some to her neck and some only to her chin. Kalpana's sixteenth birthday was ruined and there was a pall of gloom all around the house except in one room... where Sangeetha slept peacefully, with a smug sense of satisfaction.

More than 10 years passed like this. Kalpana got married and started teaching at a local arts school. Sangeetha went the scholarly route which meant that after doing her bachelors and masters in Chemistry, she was now pursuing a PhD and doing top-notch research in the same field. What this really meant is that at 28, Sangeetha was still single, still dirt poor, still living in a small apartment with roommates and was spending her 5th year doing research that no one gave a flying rat's ass about. Though both sisters lived in the same city, a huge distance had crept between them. Several bitter fights had completely ruined their relationship. After their mother passed away, the only unifying thread between them was gone. So they never met or spoke to each other again.

One day, Kalpana got a phone call from her sister. She was very surprised and didn't really know what to say. Sangeetha asked if they could meet and they agreed upon a local coffee shop for the meeting. That evening, Kalpana walked into the coffee shop to find Sangeetha sitting quietly at a corner booth. But she was unrecognizable- she looked thin and frail, her face pale and her cheeks hollowed. After greetings were exchanged and coffees were ordered, they began to talk and Sangeetha had some shocking news. She said that she had been diagnosed with Stage II Lymphoma a little over two months ago. She said that the disease was progressing, but that she would be starting chemotherapy from next week to fight it. She said these things in a calm, almost emotionless manner- it terrified Kalpana. They spoke about it for over an hour and at the end of the meeting, Sangeetha asked if Kalpana could come sit with her for some of her chemo sessions; she said that she really needed family now. Kalpana agreed without hesitation.

The next week, Sangeetha started her chemotherapy sessions and Kalpana showed up at the hospital as promised. Sangeetha watched her sister enter her room and thought she looked different somehow. She was wearing a red salwar kameez but she had draped her dupatta over her head- maybe it was sunny outside, Sangeetha thought . But, when Kalpana removed the dupatta, it was Sangeetha's turn to be shocked. All that beautiful black hair was gone- Her sister was completely bald. Kalpana broke the silence and said,

"Once your chemo kicks in, you'll start losing your hair. I've never let you be the first at anything, You didn't expect me to let you be the first in this,did you? So I beat you to it!"

Sangeetha understood and smiled. She reached for her sister's hand, gave it a tight squeeze and smiled.
short story

Shoe-ing away unhappiness!

Lily pulled out the cream colored stilettos from the shoe box. They had been kept neatly wrapped in tissue, for a deserving occasion. The shoes were almost 5 years old, but the creamy faux animal skin looked brand new. Looking at those shoes brought back a lot of memories - these were shoes she had worn during the good times, for dances and late night parties, for romantic walks in the park and of course when John proposed to her 2 years back. But those good times were over- what she had with John was over, the relationship she had invested several years on was over. She quickly dressed, picking out an outfit to match the shoes and got into the car.

She could feel the butterflies in her stomach as she walked into the restaurant. Her eyes immediately went to the floor- She started to observe people's feet. She saw hardy leather boots and worn out tennis shoes. Open toed heels and even a pair of bedroom slippers - the kind with a big fat loony toons character on top. Her eyes moved quickly from one pair of feet to another until they stopped at a pair of new brown penny loafers! When she looked up, she saw that the owner of the penny loafers was a young man with deep brown hair and gentle eyes- he was also looking at feet. When he saw her stilettos, he looked up and smiled.

She had been hesitant about going on a blind date- she had been even more hesistant when her date suggested they identify each other by their shoes. But now that she was here, she was rather excited. So she took a deep breath and walked over to her date. This was her new beginning and she was starting it with her cream colored stilettos... hoping for more good times and hoping for much happier endings.

short story

Religious fundamentalists anyone?

The word religious fundamentalism might make you think of something you've heard on the news, about bomb threats, about things happening half way across the globe. But you don't have to look to the news to find these fundamentalists- There's a good chance you might know one yourself! These fundamentalists aren't trying to take over the world, they aren't threats to the society. But they do possess a quality which is characteristic of fundamentalism- INTOLERANCE!

An incident occurred recently which made be realize how big a problem religious fundamentalism really is. Now, keep in mind that I'm not trying to target any particular faith with this story- this is merely an example. Fundamentalists can belong to any faith.

I made a friend recently- a nice college educated 21 year old. A devout Christian and a child of missionary parents, she seemed to be a very principled and kind person. But, some of her beliefs took me by surprise. One day we were listening to a song about the 'end of the world' when she told me that for a Christian, the end of the world is a happy event. When I asked why, she told me that she believed that all Christians would go to heaven when the world ended. But she said it is also slightly sad because those not belonging to the faith would not go to heaven. I realized that she was politely telling me that I would go to hell if the world were to end. I was a little bit taken aback by her beliefs so I prodded her some more.... only to understand that in her mind, this made total sense and was completely fair.
She went on to tell me that this is the reason missionaries go around the world trying to 'save' those non-Christians... from the awful fate that awaits them.

I was not offended by what she said, but I was shocked at how firmly she believed this- I realized how easy it is for an average person to be so engrossed in her beliefs and fundamentals that she becomes intolerant of others' beliefs. I belong to a different religion and hope I can attain salvation by following the teachings of my religion, but I don't believe that my religion offers the ONLY path to salvation. To me, it seems like different religions just offer different paths to God or salvation, or as she put it, heaven. This is tolerance, tolerance that I have always taken for granted. It is saddening that in this day and age, there are many people, decent and kind people who are lacking this basic tolerance. Seems like religious fundamentalism is in more places than we would like to believe.

fundamentalism intolerance religion

University talents

Sometime last week, I went to a musical at my school- performed by the University's theatre students. Initially I was a little wary of going because of some bad experiences I've had before with musicals(Producers for example...what were the Oscars people thinking??). This musical was called 'Smokey Joe's Cafe'- with 40 ROCK & ROLL SONGS! I wasnt sure if I would be able to sit thru that many songs...and more than me, I was worried about the friends that I was dragging along with me... both guys who would prefer a hindi/tamil movie to a long English musical. I knew I was under pressure...these guys were coming only to give me company and if the musical sucked, I knew they would let me know it! I wouldnt hear the end of it.

But, I was amazed with the show- Two hours flew by and I was left wanting more. There was not a single dialogue said during the entire 2 hours- It was nothing but song and dance (and I didnt know most of those songs) but I was thoroughly entertained. I was left in awe by the talent these guys and girls possessed. They could sing, dance, act...they could even run in huge heels...I was bowled over.

Even after I got home, I couldnt stop thinkin about those actors- They were just college kids, most younger than me....Kids doing their bachelors in theatre. And yet, they were so immensely talented in their field. I mean, I did my bachelors in Computer Science- But I'm nowhere as good in my field as these people were in theirs. I thought about what they had that I lacked and I narrowed it down to one thing: Something called PASSION! They probably got into theatre because they wanted to...they were and are passionate about what they are doing. But, me...I got into Computers due to some amount of compulsion... and I'm definitely not passionate about it. And last week I realized just how much difference passion could make!

Scribbles from California

I arrived at Orange County, California late yesterday night. I'll be here for around 4 months for my Internship. Am excited and scared at the same time... Its an awesome place, lovely weather-lotsa things to do...but I've gotten so used to my life in Richmond...My friends who have become more like family, their pranks and jokes ( of which I WAS ALWAYS THE VICTIM), the house (always loud and lively unlike this one), my school and the school atmosphere, my lil corner in the lab where nobody cared about what I was doing, my room with that huge johnny depp poster rite above the bed, Panda Veg food, the Indian cart lady and even my annoying neighbor...I'm gonna miss it all!

But at the same time, I'm hopeful that I'll have a nice time here in California- Orange county is such a pretty place- wide roads, beautiful palm trees, and a nice breeze greeted me when I landed. OC is supposedly one of the richest counties in the US and it shows...I've been here only for a day and I've already seen 3-4 limos and hummers on the road...Nobody even gives them a second look here. The houses are huge..not multi storey buildings that go straight up like in Richmond city but spread around a huge landscaped area. My apt is very pretty- Its a two storey building with stacatto walls traditionally found in these warmer coastal areas. There are two nice outdoor swimming pools, lawn areas, and a gym. Today we went shopping for groceries and I was very happy to find that there are several different stores nearby...Best thing is that we can bring the shopping cart from the store all the way home from where the cart is picked up later... Only I know what a blessing this is...after two years of 'backbreaking shopping', carrying those grocery bags home in bookbags, this is def something to cheer about. Another thing that made me very happy is the public library that is just 5 minutes away... Disney land is also nearby and the beach is also reachable by car. So, there's so much this city offers, so much to do and so many places to see... I cant wait to explore them all.
Only thing I hope for is to meet good people here...cuz thats def something I had around me at all times in Richmond.

california orange county personal musings

Neighbors and Noise

LATEST NEWS: We might get evicted outta our apartment within the next 21 days! We've been getting regular notices for a while because of noise complaints from our neighbor downstairs but, today we got our final warning - One more complaint in the next 21 days and we will be KICKED OUT!

I must say it's kinda excitin though! This is the closest I've gotten to anythin illegal or requiring being kicked out! :) I always wanted to be one of those cool college kids who party all nite till the cops are called to quiet them down! But sadly, my life is not quite that excitin- No late nite parties here, only late nite studyin- and we get complaints for that!

The first notice we got said that we were walkin too loud in the nite- walkin of all things! So, we bought everyone in the house soft chappals and put carpet on the floors... That kept the lady downstairs quiet for a while. Then, the next complaint was that we were moving things on the floor too late in the nite... So we stopped draggin our furniture- we only LIFT them past 11. This was followed by a string of complaints for loud music, talkin too loud...I'm waitin for the 'breathin too loud' notice now!

Sometimes the lady downstairs decides to take matters into her own hands...Literally! I'll never forget the time when I was sitting on the floor late one night packing for a morning flight. I had to drag out my suitcase from under the bed and immediately after I had pulled it out, I felt two or three sudden thuds on the floor, right where I was sitting. It really took me by surprise. Apparently the lady thought she would inform me of the noise I was making by using a pole to bang on her ceiling, my floor! So, we have these mini earthquakes nowadays to let us know that we are being too loud. I wonder... Does she ever sleep? Or does she wait all night with a long pole in her hand, listening for the slightest noise, waiting to bang at the ceiling?
personal musings

Only in the US!

I've been in the US for over 7 years now and there are some things here which I still cant get used to.

'Dont talk to strangers'
Whats with all these strangers asking me how I am- Do they really care? And when they ask that, what am I supposed to say? "Well my program didn't work in lab, I have to present my research tomorrow but, all I've been doing is sleeping in front of the computer, so not so great!" Truth is before I can even say 'I'm fine', they've already walked past me.

What's worse is when they actually want to carry on a long conversation. For example, when sitting next to someone on the bus or taking the elevator, I feel like saying ' I don't even know you, do I really have to listen to your stories about what your dog did today.. and worse, pretend to care?' Back home in India, when you see a stranger on the road, you usually just give him a cold stare implying 'what u looking at me for?' - Its not considered rude or anti-social, its normal!

Sue-crazy Americans
Only in America can you sue a fast food company because you spilled coffee on yourself- and actually win a million dollars! This is one of the many silly court cases that take place in the US. A lady sued a fast food joint for not having labels on their coffee lids saying that the hot coffee may actually be hot...and she won. This cautionary label is found on all lids now! You can sue anyone for anything in the US-and its very evident that companies, Doctors and even regular people live under the constant fear of being sued for their actions. Thats why you can find sleeping pills with the warning 'may cause drowsiness' and match boxes with the label 'the contents may catch fire'. Dumbed down America, anyone?

All that food!
Why are the serving sizes in the US so large?? Everything from a starbucks coffee cup (the smallest size is called TALL) to a plate of pasta is huge- A good example is popcorn at the movie theaters - picture a water bucket, filled to the rim with popcorn and drizzled with a good amount of butter- Thats what it looks like.

Now, I am a desert freak- absolutely luv them. But, I hardly ever get to eat deserts when I go out here- By the time I finish half of the main dish, I have no space for anything more! :( Me thinks the US restaurant ppl need to go take a look at Saravana Bhavan- Their sizes are so small that everyone orders two, three dishes... So, they end up making more money and the customer is also happy cuz they get to taste a variety of things. Kinda like having the cake and eatin it too... Oooh... CAKE!

culture shock personal musings

Oscars 2007

I didnt get to see the Oscars this year because the unfortunate grad student that I am, I don't even own a TV! But I made sure to read every tidbit about it on the Internet. All the photos, the best dressed list, the worst dressed list, the sensations and the flops! And now, here's what I think are some of the most memorable moments of the 79th Academy awards:

1. Martin Scorsese's long overdue Oscar win- Its about time the Oscar committee recognized this talented director! I saw 'Departed' and I have to say I wasn't too impressed. Thought it was excessively violent and I wasn't too happy to see everybody in the cast die in the last scene (Whatever happened to those nice 'happily ever after' endings?!) But, If this is the Academy's way of finally honoring Scorsese for all his prior work, then so be it!

2. Al Gore's fake speech: This guy is proving to be much too cool for a politician! When his powerful documentary on global warming won (which I saw btw), he gave the nite's best speech.

"Even though I, honestly, had not planned on doing this, I guess with a billion people watching it's as good a time as any," said Gore, pulling out a speech. "So, my fellow Americans, I'm going to take this opportunity right here and now to formally announce my intention ..." And then the music cut him off! Man, he is so much cooler than the perennially tongue tied Bush!

3. Melissa Ethiridge's sensational kiss: When Ethiridge won for best soundtrack, she made sure the win was remembered by giving her lesbian partner a kiss before collecting the award. Apparently, she was a little apprehensive about what to do if she won. Perhaps the fact that the awards were being hosted by Ellen Degeneres gave her comfort.

4. I have to mention the best and worst dresses here- how can I not! I was very upset to have missed the Rivers duo's famous commentary, but here's my own: Best dressed on Oscar night were definitely Jennifer Lopez (goddess lookalike), Reese Witherspoon and Penelope Cruz. The worst dressed were not as bad as usual- Nowhere close to Bjork's Swan disaster. I would have to put Dream girls winner Jennifer Hudson in the worst dressed list and Princess diaries star, Anne Hathway makes it into the list just because she could have done so much better. Dint much like Nichole Kidman's choice either- was she going for a Christmas gift look with that big red bow?!

5. Wonderful nite for Black actors- With Whitaker and Hudson winning best actor and best supporting actress respectively, the 79th Academy awards was a memorable night for Black actors.

hollywood oscars

Finally... joining the blogging craze!

Its that time dreaded by every grad student... Thesis writing time! Yep, that time has come for me. Durin this difficult time, I find myself living by a mantra that my prof taught me: BBB- Bull Baffles Brains! :) Hopefully it will baffle his too!

Aaaah,There's nothin like a good thesis writing session to bring out the philosopher in u! :) So, lets see how good a philosopher it makes of me! If not a philosopher,lets at least see how good a blogger it makes of me!